The Beauty of Time Spent with 12-Year-Old Boys

There is something special about spending time with 12-year-old boys. They are in this unique space between childhood and their teenage years, straddling innocence and independence. Recently, I had the chance to take my son and five of his friends on an overnight ski trip—an adventure that turned out to be more than just skiing and fun. It was a window into their world, a reminder of what it means to guide them, and a lesson in embracing the fleeting moments of their youth.

Here are a few things I learned along the way:

1. They Are Listening More Than You Think
On our car ride up, I let the boys take turns requesting songs. I expected the latest rap hits or pop anthems, but to my surprise, they chose songs they had listened to with their parents. It reminded me that our kids are absorbing more of our world than we sometimes realize. So, next time you put on your music, share your favorites with them. Introduce them to the bands and artists you love—you might be surprised at how much they enjoy it.

2. They Are Aware of Their Words
At one point, a few f-bombs were dropped in conversation. Before I could say anything, one of the boys spoke up: "Hey guys, watch your language. There are little kids around." It was a proud moment. It reinforced the importance of correcting language at home and setting expectations. Swearing can easily become an unconscious habit, but reminders—whether from parents or peers—help keep them mindful of their words.

3. Give Them the Opportunity to Act Like Gentlemen
We stopped for dinner at a cool local pizza spot in Collingwood. Before walking in, I told the boys to be respectful and polite, with the goal of earning a compliment from someone. And you know what? They did. They held doors, said please and thank you, and engaged with kindness. It was also a good reminder that it’s okay to enforce phone-free dinners. Some of the boys didn’t have phones yet, and collecting them at dinner made space for real conversations. Because let’s be honest—dinner with friends is cool. Dinner with friends playing video games on their phones? Not so much.

4. They’re Still Just Kids
Even as they push for independence, these boys are still kids at heart. I picked up some small Valentine’s chocolates for them, thinking it might be a little cheesy, but their faces lit up. They might act "too cool" sometimes, but they still appreciate small gestures of kindness. More importantly, they are still looking to us for guidance—watching how we interact with others, how we handle situations, and how we show love.

5. Boundaries Are Necessary—And Sometimes Welcomed
At 10 p.m., I collected all the phones to prevent late-night texting and FaceTime prank calls. While they groaned at first, I could tell that a part of them was relieved. Kids crave connection but also need help managing the constant pull of technology. Setting boundaries doesn’t mean taking away fun—it means creating balance. Sometimes, they need us to be the ones who say, "Okay, that's enough for now."

This trip was a reminder that while our kids are growing up fast, they still need us in ways we may not always recognize. They are listening, watching, and learning. They are testing limits while also looking for guidance. And most of all, they still appreciate the simple joys—music in the car, a pizza dinner with friends, and a small chocolate that says, "You are loved."

So, here’s to embracing these moments. Because before we know it, they’ll be teenagers, then adults, and these fleeting, heartwarming glimpses of their childhood will be memories we hold onto forever.